Are you really behind in life? Or is just an illusion?

I’ve had a few conversations with clients, and also a couple of situations pop up in my life recently, that have revolved around this theme of “feeling behind”. And while this particularly seems to present itself when I work with women in the fertility space, where timelines feel urgent and deeply personal, it honestly doesn’t discriminate. It crosses all ages, all life stages and so many different contexts.

It's that creeping sense of time running out. The gnawing feeling that you’re not where you “should” be. It’s looking around and seeing friends and peers hitting milestones, having children, finding a partner, getting married, buying a home, career success, settling down, achieving financial security, and feeling like you’ve been left behind.

And I see this play out in two different ways.

The first is someone in your world achieves a milestone that you deeply desire and are actively striving for. For women experiencing fertility challenges, the heartbreak of seeing all your friends have babies, and perhaps have their second and third, while you are waiting for your turn is indescribably hard. The sting isn’t just disappointment; it’s grief, frustration and the unbearable weight of uncertainty.

But then there’s the second situation, and this one can catch you off guard. This happens when someone in your orbit reaches a milestone that wasn’t even on your radar. Maybe it’s a friend starting a business, buying a home, announcing their pregnancy, moving overseas or settling down while you’re still figuring out your next step. It’s not something you had been working toward, or even consciously wanted, but suddenly, it’s in front of you, demanding to be considered. And that little voice of doubt creeps in: Should I want this too? Am I falling behind?

Both situations can shake your sense of self. But here’s what I want you to know, feeling “behind” assumes that life is a race with a set timeline, a universal roadmap that we’re all supposed to follow. But whose timeline is that? Whose expectations are you measuring yourself against?

The truth is, we are all walking different paths, shaped by different desires, values, challenges and circumstances. And just because someone else reaches a milestone first, or at all, doesn’t mean you’re behind. It simply means their journey is unfolding in its own way, just as yours is.

So instead of letting comparison steal your joy or make you question your choices, what if you used it as an opportunity to check in with yourself? To ask: What do I actually want? What truly matters to me? What are my values?

And remember to come to yourself with self-compassion and kindness. Because your life is not on a deadline. And you are exactly where you are meant to be.

The real challenge isn’t about catching up, it’s about letting go of the subconscious beliefs that keep you trapped in comparison, doubt and fear.

And this is exactly where Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can help. RTT goes beyond surface-level talk therapy and rewires the subconscious patterns that fuel this feeling of “not enough” or “falling behind”. Through deep subconscious work, you can release the pressure, trust your own timing and move forward with confidence, without the weight of comparison holding you back.

So if you’re ready to free yourself from the belief that you’re falling behind and step into a mindset of trust, clarity and peace, I’d love to hear from you and let’s explore how RTT can help you feel aligned in your journey.